


Cupcake: The Awakening

by teacuphuman



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Cupcakes, Existential Angst, M/M, Thoughtless slaughter of cupcakes, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-23 02:39:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10710450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teacuphuman/pseuds/teacuphuman
Summary: The view from a cupcake.***Now with bonus art from @dasytidae!***





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dasyatidae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dasyatidae/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Cupcaking](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9230576) by [dasyatidae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dasyatidae/pseuds/dasyatidae). 



> Special thanks to oceaxe and swtalmnd for their betaing and shameless cheerleading.

Charlie’s consciousness slowly unfolds in the heat. It’s dry and intense, but he curls towards it, stretching himself upwards to the rim of his vessel, aching to reach the orange haze of incalescence. He doesn’t remember how he got here, but he’s content with how he’s taking shape, a little heavy and slumped on one side where his matter is sticking to the vessel, but plump and springy where it counts. As he crests over the rim of his vessel he sees some of his former essence, divided and creeping towards the heat in the same way he is. 

 

Before this, they were one, that much he knows. A cluster of microorganisms in a sea of sticky sweetness, brought together with passion and intent. Made for a single purpose to please the creator. 

 

Charlie looks around at the others now that even his low side has risen fully above his vessel. Wanda is on his right, her face turned toward the heat, her body no doubt turning firmer like his own. To his left he sees Micah and Jonesy, squished together in one vessel and overflowing onto the flat surface of their container. It could be worse, he figures, at least they like each other. Micah drools a little in greeting and Charlie shrinks back into his pan, embarrassed to be caught looking. He glances behind him and to his horror sees that Dan’s surface is covered in burst bubbles that are crystallizing in the heat, marring his face and sizzling against the side of his vessel, poor bastard.

 

In an instant they’re removed from the great warmth and thrust into a bright, moist wasteland, left out in the open to shrink back in the cooler air. The creator looms over them, his lips pursed in frustration. Charlie notices the other vessels then, row upon row of them, all made of the same essence, but all different in shape and size. Maybe the creator is new at this, Charlie reasons. Maybe he’s looking for the perfect one and Charlie will be it. 

 

The creator backs away, muttering to himself while the others shift and groan against their containment. Micah and Jonesy get into an argument about who is touching who, and it occurs to Charlie that they don’t actually know they’re one being yet. He shakes his sprinkles and tells them to can it. The creator comes back and upturns their container, sending them all tumbling onto the table. Charlie doesn’t know how he knows it’s a table, but he does. He really tries not to argue with his blooming sense of self, so he just goes with it, grimacing when Dan falls to the floor and the creator swears, picking him up and tossing him into the void. A kind ending, really.

 

The creator sets them up alongside the others, and Charlie introduces himself to his new neighbours. The creator picks up Shamby, one of the more uniform beings among them, and sniffs him, scowling before he sets him down on a book, away from the others. Shamby is glowing, having been singled out from the others. He waves at them from across the room and Charlie and his counterparts cheer. 

 

Wanda turns to say something to him and shrieks at the snub-nosed beast peering through the window. The face growls something Charlie can’t make out because his ears are still ringing, but the creator jumps and turns red. The creator lets the beast inside and Charlie hears the others murmuring in low voices. Wanda is shaking beside him and Micah and Jonesey keep shushing each other so they can hear what’s being said. Soon, the creator and the beast are standing over them, a scowl on the creator’s face while the beast inspects a box with beings that look strangely familiar, but just slightly off. Their sides are perfectly formed and they’re tops are high and straight. There’s also a horrifically thick paste slathered across their faces and Charlie thanks the stars that his creator isn’t as cruel as that of those on the box. Sure, the ones in the picture are boring and sedate, but no one deserves that.

 

The beast sets down the box and plucks Tina off the table. Charlie sees worry and pride on her face. She’s been chosen. It’s what they all want, but Charlie knows they have no idea what comes next. The beast grins at the creator like he’s never seen anything so wonderful, but then he licks Tina, and okay, that’s weird, but maybe it’s some kind of-OH MY GOD HE JUST ATE TINA!

 

Wanda wails beside him and Jonesy passes out. Charlie sits there stunned. Tina was alive, she had children, for god’s sake, a family! What kind of monster just eats someone like that? Peels off their outer skin and devours them whole with a fucking smile on their face?

 

The beast is speaking again, small pieces of Tina falling from his mouth, and Charlie gags up a sprinkle, spitting it onto the table in front of him. The ones around him are sobbing, crying for them to take up arms and force the beast out, while those in the back are struggling to see what’s going on. By the time words reaches them all and the beast has swallowed the last bits of poor, innocent Tina, the creator has left them alone, turning his back on his blessed creations. They’re plucked up one by one, their outer layer shed and laying in a sinister pile on the table as the beast devours three more of Charlie’s friends and he snoops through the creator’s things.

 

Charlie can’t hear the cries of his people, he’s too busy trying to move forward, advancing slowly on the beast and ready to do his worst. If he can stand out from the crowd, the beast may choose him, and then Charlie can lodge himself in the beast’s throat and choke the life out of the bastard.

 

But then the creator is shifting closer to the beast. Pressing their lips together and leaning into him. Charlie’s jaw nearly hits the floor. What is this, some kind of strange, morbid mating ritual? Did the creator make them simply to draw the beast in? Charlie chokes on his grief, were they all simply bait?

 

The creator and the beast leave them, stumbling their way into another room while Charlie sits on the table, shaken and questioning his entire existence. Wanda is whimpering quietly and Micah and Jonesy are holding each other, still unaware they occupy the same physical space. It would seem impossible for others to fathom a cupcake having an existential crisis, but Charlie dares those people to live through what he just has and come out on the other side and not be affected on a molecular level.

 

The sounds coming from the back of the house are sharp and animalistic and Charlie tries to tune out the low voice of the creator, knowing he’s rewarding the beast for his massacre. Shamby is still on top of the book, waving at the rest of them, a giant rainbow smile on his face, like he didn’t just witness the deaths of his friends. As Charlie looks around he sees the other comforting each other, shuffling closer to offer strength. Wanda cracks a smile at him while patting Micah and Jonesy on the head, and some of Charlie’s anger cools. Or maybe that’s just the fading of the heat from the oven, he’s not sure. The important thing is that they’re still there. Together.

 

No matter what their purpose, the creator seems pleased with the beast’s reaction to them, and his sampling of their tender and crumbly flesh. He’d said their sprinkles were crunchy, but not in a bad way. Charlie’s not sure how anyone would expect sprinkles to be anything but crunchy, but he feels pride that they lived up to the creator’s expectations. Surpassed them even, if the sounds coming from the other room are any indication.

 

So maybe they are part of an offering to the beast to entice him to breed the creator. Maybe now that the others have been sacrificed, those left behind will be rewarded. They’ve obviously performed their function, and there’s not much they can do except to sit and wait for the outcome. Shamby is swaying to music that’s probably in his head and the others have started chatting amicably, the horrors of before forgotten in favour of celebrating that they’re still here, their voices bright and hopeful as they try and guess what’s next for them.

 

When the creator and the beast reappear, a hush settles over them until the creator smiles, his face flushing when the beast pecks him on the cheek. A cheer goes up from the cupcakes, Shamby so excited he nearly falls off the book and onto the floor. The creator and the beast start dividing them, nestling them into large containers and sealing them up tight. There are happy tears and goodbye, each of them now convinced they’ve passed their trials. Wanda disappears into one of the larger containers, waving at Charlie with a smile on her face. The creator adds Micah and Jonesy to a smaller box, quickly stuffing it into the beast’s bag while his back is turned. 

 

Charlie sighs contently, knowing his people are safe now. He watches Shamby poking at his sprinkles, laughing along when Shamby tickles himself and giggles. The next thing he knows, the creator is picking him up, chuckling to himself and shrugging. Charlie feels happy to see the creator smile, to know he had a part in that. Then the creator skins him quickly and shoves Charlie in his mouth and Charlie’s world goes dark.

  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Glorius art by dasytidae!


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